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It's been years since my last update. Between my last reflection on "home" (written in May 2012) and now, I have been claimed by three more communities: Chicago, Milwaukee, and Jerusalem. For five years, these places continued to torrentially shower down on me experiences of grace, visions of hardship, moments of solidarity, and awakenings to the work of justice, shaping and forming me in ways (some painful and others joy-filled) that I could not have imagined when I published that last post.
Honestly, I imagined coming back to write here time and time again, but my bones became weary and my mind often could not find the right words to convey what I was learning, unlearning, and relearning about myself, my country, the Church, and our world. I fought to find myself in the chaos of it all, struggling with severe anxiety and entering a new arena of self-examination. In that time, deeply loved friends and companions came into my life. Most everyone even stuck around. And while these years simultaneously opened my eyes wider to my own needs and to even more of the deep needs of the world, I thank God for them. For out of them I have been called to proclaim that which my year in Palestine first set on my heart: God's abundant hope.
Over the last five years, I have completed my studies at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago and was just ordained into my first call. I sit here in Kigali in what has quickly become my new home. Ask me how the past five years led me to this place in particular and I can say definitively, "Only God knows." I will serve as a missionary pastor within the Lutheran Church of Rwanda, a relatively new (23-year-old) church body, and the country coordinator for the Young Adults in Global Mission program in Rwanda. (Notice that this is the same program that set the stage for this blog to begin seven years ago as I prepared to serve in Jerusalem/West Bank.)
Slowly, the words that evaded me for so long--those from all of the experiences I encountered since my last blog on this page--are coming my way. Words about pilgrimage, seminary discoveries, war, disappointments, anxiety, mental illness, police brutality, my own internalized racism (and other -isms), unlearning that racism (and other -isms), being an accomplice in the work for racial justice, recognizing the work and the love of friendship, claiming my whole self, letting go of love lost, understanding power and privilege, analyzing power and using it wisely, advocating in deed and word, opening my eyes to Jesus in the streets, learning what praise really is, and so much more.
I pray the words continue to come to me, that I might begin breaking through the silence of this page to share what I've been hearing, to provoke thought and prayer, and to proclaim, above all, the hope that is alive and kicking despite the things in our lives that try to convince us otherwise. Some of what I post will be cross-posted between my Facebook and Instagram, some will be from Newsletters I will write quarterly, and some will find a home here only. Check-in when you can. Share your thoughts when you have them. And may the grace and peace of God be with you now and always.
Honestly, I imagined coming back to write here time and time again, but my bones became weary and my mind often could not find the right words to convey what I was learning, unlearning, and relearning about myself, my country, the Church, and our world. I fought to find myself in the chaos of it all, struggling with severe anxiety and entering a new arena of self-examination. In that time, deeply loved friends and companions came into my life. Most everyone even stuck around. And while these years simultaneously opened my eyes wider to my own needs and to even more of the deep needs of the world, I thank God for them. For out of them I have been called to proclaim that which my year in Palestine first set on my heart: God's abundant hope.
Over the last five years, I have completed my studies at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago and was just ordained into my first call. I sit here in Kigali in what has quickly become my new home. Ask me how the past five years led me to this place in particular and I can say definitively, "Only God knows." I will serve as a missionary pastor within the Lutheran Church of Rwanda, a relatively new (23-year-old) church body, and the country coordinator for the Young Adults in Global Mission program in Rwanda. (Notice that this is the same program that set the stage for this blog to begin seven years ago as I prepared to serve in Jerusalem/West Bank.)
Slowly, the words that evaded me for so long--those from all of the experiences I encountered since my last blog on this page--are coming my way. Words about pilgrimage, seminary discoveries, war, disappointments, anxiety, mental illness, police brutality, my own internalized racism (and other -isms), unlearning that racism (and other -isms), being an accomplice in the work for racial justice, recognizing the work and the love of friendship, claiming my whole self, letting go of love lost, understanding power and privilege, analyzing power and using it wisely, advocating in deed and word, opening my eyes to Jesus in the streets, learning what praise really is, and so much more.
I pray the words continue to come to me, that I might begin breaking through the silence of this page to share what I've been hearing, to provoke thought and prayer, and to proclaim, above all, the hope that is alive and kicking despite the things in our lives that try to convince us otherwise. Some of what I post will be cross-posted between my Facebook and Instagram, some will be from Newsletters I will write quarterly, and some will find a home here only. Check-in when you can. Share your thoughts when you have them. And may the grace and peace of God be with you now and always.
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